Hi, and welcome to my site. After many months of thinking, I finally made the decision to start a blog. The goal here is to document my journey with an avoidant personality disorder. I’m determined to find out if this thing can be conquered, and I’m going to upload everything I can to help scientists develop a greater understanding of such an apparently rare condition. It would be my honour to pose as a testament for a functioning afflicted individual. That being said, it is going to be a very challenging endeavour for me to be brutally honest about my day-to-day experiences and thoughts, but one adage rings true: the truth will set you free. For twenty-three years I’ve been challenged by the unexplainable. It seems only logical to adopt this as a gift, then, a “thorn in my side,” to make me more resilient.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.2 Corinthians 12:10
In life there are many pains, while some of them are too great to bear. I always say: the tree that knew not of the wind knew not of his roots.
Beginning today I will post updates on my journey through life. It won’t be easy. It will be extremely difficult for me. I will heave and ho, I’ll even scream and shout. My soul will cower in fear. My heart will race like a hummingbird. My strength will some day rise, like the noonday sun.
To give you a rundown of what having a personality disorder is like, it looks like this: most people have an edge, I have a doorway. There is no boundary to me. Nothing sets me apart. I absorb a person’s depression, joy, anger, psychosis, hate, and love. I am …
Trust me, no one else on this earth is more disappointed in themselves than I am. I am a fury, the judge of my actions. My mind is apart from my soul, my body is caught in warfare. How could I not be fury manifest?
Well, there is hope. What is it for me? Come see for yourself.