Have you ever wondered just what real change looks like? Below you can check out the phases/stages I went through.
Step 1 – I Realized the Need for Change
Once I realized that I needed to change, I began taking small actions. I made sure they were noticeable – getting rid of a chair made me able to see the other side of my room. In this way I primed myself for a big change that I was going to make. Think of it like a farmer’s field; if you don’t put in the work, you don’t get a crop at the end of the year. Like a garden, you must water it everyday if you expect to get a delicious juicy tomato.
Another thing I did was eliminate distractions. Bye, bye, Facebook. For many, this is where the journey for change ends. If you really want to succeed in the future, you have to sacrifice the present. The alternative is something all too familiar, like a cousin who’s been couch surfing way too long – and his name is Mediocrity.
Step 2 – I Built the Courage to Change
The first rule of change – don’t be afraid of it. Let me explain.
If you were to open up a business, how would you go about doing that? You’d probably take all the necessary steps up until you hit a roadblock. What’s the roadblock? Ding ding ding! That’s right! It’s change!
I’m telling you how we may sacrifice the greater good due to fear.
Be courageous by knowing fear. Then conquer it. You are the master of your life, after all.
The personal relation to my life is my anxiety of large gatherings. Parties, fairs, jobs. After a long depression, I realized I always had this fear, however I was much more energetically capable to pull off a confrontation when I was younger. Requiring a steady job has forced me to confront my fears daily – no more backing out, I had to build the courage. Life hit me in the face like a mass-extinction comet. Since the old way of living wasn’t going to work anymore, I had to buckle up and embrace the onslaught of changes head-on.
Step 3 – I Implemented Change
Change is scary, AND you don’t have to be afraid of it.
I always wanted to laugh really hard at something somebody did or said. My deeply-engrained prejudices always held me back. It’s like there’s a boundary between; first, what they did, second; some set of old, complex, and useless thoughts, and finally; a skewed representation of how I really felt about the event. That has been my life up until now. It sucks, and it’s time to change.
Life is too short not to laugh, slap a knee, and appreciate other people.
Every day I tried rewiring my old programming, moving into rather than away from change. Very slowly I began to get used to things that were not apart of my life before, but that I needed, like close physical connection.
Step 4 – Getting Used to Change
Once I realized that change is an important and integral part of growth, I got used to it. I just said, “okay sure, change me up.” Change is everywhere in life. I’m sure you can look back and see all the major moments in your life that were the results of change.
I’ve also had times where I recognized that change comes and goes. It’s exciting, really.
Take a look at this picture I took of an open door. It was like it was calling me.
That’s my room. And I live in a very erratic household. My big change is going to be to leave.
Step 5 – Maintaining Change
Maintaining is the fun part because it is like a challenge. It’s like a way of forging your character.
The key to maintaining your new life is to find things that you enjoy. It sounds cheesy and it’s true. For me, it’s writing and researching or simply looking up what a word means and then keeping that in mind for a while. I also found out that I need to stimulate my brain intellectually because of my love for education, so I listen to the classic writers or read more contemporary non-fiction. To maintain change, you must never leave behind your joys.
There are ups and downs in life. When you’re down low, try to remember the power that change has and use it as a tool. Sometimes the cost of change is great, and other times it doesn’t cost much. The fact that change is a part of life is a testament to embrace it more fully.
Note for struggling individuals: If you are experiencing toxicity in your life, I can’t express enough the fact that you change your situation. If you can’t determine if you’re in a toxic relationship or not, I’m going to tell you from experience that if you think you are – you are. Don’t make the mistake I did and spend years trying to be the backbone of something that is trying to break you down.
No matter where you are, you always have the ability to give. To be honest, that’s how I was able to change. I kept giving my best to people and eventually, all the good parts they saw in me were reflected back to me. I had a very poor self-image. That’s why it’s crucial to make connections outside of your comfort zone. On the same hand it did take around 6 months to start seeing results. So stick with it for a while. You can do it. It really is worth the effort.
Thank you for reading! I want to be able to open up to my audience, because I want my audience to open up to me. Therefore if you are having any questions, concerns, doubts or fears do not hesitate to reach out to me. I made that mistake going through hardships. My email is on my Contact page.